How to get kids to do chores (age appropriate chores for kids)

Different seasons of life require different approaches to getting kids to do chores. 

When my kids were little I struggled with how best to get them helping around the house. I felt it was important because I wanted them to learn a good work ethic, but it seems sometimes that the message we get from the world today tells us that we should let our kids be kids.

Let them enjoy their younger years because when they grow up they’ll have plenty of time to work.

This message along with many others really messed me up and I wound up doing everything myself and getting really bitter about it.

I found myself so frustrated when the kids walked away after dinner and did whatever they wanted, but I stayed to clean everything up.

Then I thought, well, this is my own doing. I am in charge, right? Then I would tell them I needed them to help clear the table, they would whine, I would get mad and yell. They would cry, then I would cry. It was a sad, sad situation.

As a mom looking for a fresh start in her home organizing journey, you want to be set up for lasting home organizing solutions, right? That means you’ll have to do something different than you’ve done before or what society tells us.

Instead of yelling at your kids to do everyday chores, you can start small and transition them from doing absolutely nothing to them at least doing something. In today’s episode I’m sharing why chores are important for kids to do, what chores are age appropriate for kids and a very basic method on how to get kids to do chores.

WHY CHORES ARE IMPORTANT FOR KIDS TO DO

I feel the list is endless of why kids should do chores, but I’ll touch on just a few in the interest of time.

First, chores are life skills. They need to be ready to live life without us. It’s sad to say now that we are on the cusp of this becoming a reality, them living their own independent lives. If they can’t cook, do laundry, sweep, clean toilets, how on earth are they going to do it when they are on their own.

Second, chores teach kids to care about their surroundings. We went far too long with not having the kids do chores. They can be a little careless (sometimes A LOT careless) with our home, furniture and belongings. Food and drink is a big offender. They leave cups in the basement with lemonade left in them for a long time. I’ve thrown away several cups, the kind with covers and a straw, because they were just too disgusting to actually wash. I’m a little embarrassed saying that, but I know that I am not the only one! The kids need to care about things whether they own them or not. Chores make them realize how things can be damaged if they don’t clean up after themselves.

Third, when kids help with household chores it alleviates work for you and frees up time to do things together as a family. I spent so many years trying to get everything done so that I could enjoy my time with them. But I couldn’t get it all done so I never was able to enjoy that time. We are now in a place where everyone kind of does their own thing. I sometimes wonder if it could have been different.

There are oodles of more reasons I could go into, but we’ll move onto what the age appropriate chores are for kids.

WHAT CHORES ARE AGE APPROPRIATE?

There are tons of lists out there on Google, but I would suggest you look at the answer to this question a little differently.

Each child learns things at a different pace and in a different way, such as one child may excel at math another at reading, etc. Doing chores is the same thing.

You don’t need a list someone else wrote to tell you if your child can load his or her own dishes in the dishwasher.

You don’t need me to tell you if your child can walk to the mailbox alone to get the mail or not.

Do you see what I’m saying? You have this knowledge.

You know better than anyone on the face of the earth what your child is capable of.

The better question is if you’re ready to let them do it or not. This is hard, right? Because they are slow, they aren’t skilled yet. Sometimes we are in a hurry and can’t allow them the time.

But it is so much better when they start out doing as much themselves as they can. They build so much confidence in themselves!

Bottom line on what chores are age appropriate, you don’t need a list to tell you that. You can make that decision because you know your child better than anyone else.

So, now you know there are many benefits to having your kids do chores and you know that you can choose what those chores are. Let’s move onto how to make it happen. How to get them actually doing them regardless of their age and what season of life your family is in.

HOW TO GET KIDS TO DO CHORES

I’ve done it all. I’ve done a DIY chore chart, I’ve paid kids for doing chores, I’ve done an allowance that they lose if they don’t do their chores. They’ve had daily cleaning chores, weekly chores. I just feel like I’ve done it all. But no matter what you have to start with these basic steps. This is something you can do today!

STEP 1 - START SMALL

Starting small means that the tasks you give are small. For example, getting the mail. Loading their own dirty dishes into the dishwasher instead of piling them on the counter or in the sink or leaving them on the table. Taking the trash out of their own bathrooms. In this step you are working on them building a habit. Once the habit is in place and they’ve learned that you mean business with them doing chores, you can add to the list. But to start today, start small with something simple and quick.

STEP 2 - WRITE IT DOWN

Write down the tasks or chores you are giving them. This will allow you, in the future once the habit is formed, to create a chore chart. In the course I offer, Home Organizing for Beginners, I teach you in detail how to make a chore chart. I’ll drop the link for you below. At only $97 this course is a great value. You’ll learn the steps to laying a solid foundation of home organizing. One that you’ll build on throughout your life! Anyhow, that link is in the show notes.

When you write down the tasks, this also helps you remember what you asked of them and to be consistent.

STEP 3 - ASK THEM TO HELP

I always used to think I needed to be “IN CHARGE.” You know what I mean? Like I’m in charge so you’ll just miraculously just do what I say because I’m in charge. Well, that just does not work. For one of my kids, if I tell her she should do something she works harder to do the opposite. So, yeah. Remember I told you that nobody knows your kid better than you? It’s so true! Anyhow, in step 2 you are going to ask them to help. I’ve learned that asking them to help with something is much more effective to getting the job done than to demand they do it. 

They are helping when they’re doing chores. They’re contributing to the good of the entire family. Not just doing something for the sake of having them do something.

STEP 4 - BE OPEN TO REMINDING THEM

Remember that kids really don’t care about cleanliness. If your kids do, then you likely aren’t listening to this podcast. It can be frustrating to you to constantly remind them to do chores, but there is a certain amount that you’ll find is acceptable. There are also different ways to remind them. Verbally, writing a note, texting if they are that age. Get creative so that you don’t get frustrated.

Join me in the online course Home Organizing for Beginners.